Memory's Cavern
by LarielRomeniel
Summary: Exploring the new TARDIS, Rose comes across a spot the Doctor thought he'd left behind.


Written for the "Writer in a TARDIS" fanfic challenge on LiveJournal.

* * *

Each morning brought a new discovery. While the Doctor and Rose slept, the fledgling TARDIS grew inside, shaping herself into their new home.

The first time she let them in, there was a rudimentary console room containing just the console itself, the timeship's newborn heart hidden within. That night, the Doctor insisted on sleeping in the TARDIS even though there was no place to sleep yet. Rose indulged him by bringing in some blankets from the Tyler mansion, spreading them out as a makeshift bed on the grate next to the console. When she woke the next morning, she smiled to see the Doctor still dozing with his arm stretched out so his hand lay on the console's base.

This TARDIS seemed to be as sensitive to the needs of her occupants as the original had been. A bedroom appeared after that first night, furnished with a large comfortable bed, soft linens and lots of fluffy pillows. That was followed by a lavish bathroom, a well-appointed kitchen and a medical bay equipped for treatment of humans. Apparently this TARDIS expected her partners to be running for their lives as soon as she was fully ready for travel.

Once those vital needs were met, other rooms began appearing. Most of them were very accurate reproductions of the same rooms in the first TARDIS. Her library had the same overstuffed armchairs, Persian rug and fireplace, and Rose could swear there were identical motes of dust floating in the firelight. The instruments in the music room were the same, down to the mandolin missing a string and the grand piano that still needed tuning.

Day after day, the timeship added rooms. A swimming pool appeared after one hot summer day. The wardrobe room surfaced just as a hole had worn through the toe of the Doctor's left trainer. "The TARDIS knows you'll do anything to avoid shopping!" Rose had teased him.

"Only because your mother insists on coming along every time!" he'd answered, looking stern for a moment and then breaking into a grin. The whole Tyler family was more than welcome aboard this new TARDIS, and there were many mornings when they were called in to see something new before they'd even had their morning tea. Rose would never forget the wonder on little Tony's face the day they brought him into the Butterfly Room.

It was a rainy Sunday morning when she found a new door leading to a large, empty room. The room was all pearly grey, from floor to ceiling, and it stayed that way as she walked inside. Her footsteps echoed in the emptiness. Rose stood in the center of the room, wondering whether it would change at all. When it didn't, she shrugged and headed back toward the door.

Then she heard the whispers behind her.

She whirled, and saw that the room was still empty, the walls still a blank grey. But _something_ was whispering—or was it? The sound had vanished when she turned back. She looked around the room one more time and backed out into the corridor. Then she went for the Doctor at a run.

"It's a memory cavern!" the Doctor exclaimed when she brought him to the strange new room. When Rose looked at him blankly, he continued, "In this room, the TARDIS can recreate any memory I want. Any setting, any person."

"Sort of like a holodeck?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "It always comes back to _Star Trek_ with you, doesn't it? Yes, it's something like that. I haven't seen one of these since…" His voice became very quiet. "Since Gallifrey."

"You didn't have one on your first TARDIS?" Rose asked.

"I did at first," he answered. "It was my private space. The TARDIS…the first TARDIS…wouldn't ever have let anyone find it the way you've found this one. Anyway, I jettisoned that room after…" Rose was startled as a dark-haired young woman dressed in a dark gown appeared in front of them. The Doctor took in a pained breath. "After her. Katarina. She…traveled with me for a little while."

"What happened to her?"

The Doctor's face was bleak. "She died, Rose. She sacrificed herself for my sake."

Rose took his hand and studied Katarina's silent image. Then she looked back at him. "You jettisoned the cavern so you wouldn't remember her. But you haven't forgotten, have you?"

The Doctor didn't answer for a long moment. Then, quietly, he said, "No. I couldn't forget her. Or any of the others."

More images appeared against grey background. A teenaged boy dressed in a yellow tunic. A blond woman in a short black dress with high boots. Another blonde, her hair in a ponytail, wearing olive green combat clothes. None of them spoke, but the room was filling with sound. The whispering had started again. This time it was loud enough that Rose could hear what the invisible voices were saying. _Doctor…Doctor…Doctor…_ Some of the calls were punctuated by screams as the whispering grew louder. The Doctor pressed his hands up against his ears.

"Doctor!" Rose reached up to put her hands over his. "Stop!"

The room fell silent. The whispering was gone. The images of Katarina and the others still stood silently around them. Rose wrapped her hands around the Doctor's and gently pulled them away from his ears. "Would any of them want you to do this to yourself?"

His expression grew stormy. "This is why I didn't keep the memory cavern before! This is why..." He stopped and sighed heavily. "This is why I always kept moving before. Never looking back because I didn't dare to."

She squeezed his hands. "You shouldn't pay any attention to what Davros said."

That seemed to startle him. The images in the room disappeared as he focused on her. "Davros? Davros said that?"

Rose nodded. "In the Crucible, don't you remember?" She gasped and put her hand to her mouth. "Of course you don't! _You_ were in the TARDIS with Donna. It was the other you. I'm sorry."

"It's all right, Rose. I've heard it before from Blon Fel Fotch." He laughed bitterly. "Imagine that. My enemies understand me better than my friends do."

Rose frowned at him. "Doctor, will this room work for me?"

He blinked in surprise. "I suppose it will."

She closed her eyes and concentrated for a moment. When she heard the Doctor take in a sharp breath, she knew she'd succeeded and opened her eyes.

A sullen-looking young man in jeans and a torn black T-shirt stood in front of them. Rose shuddered just a little; this was hitting her just a bit harder than she'd thought it would. But that would drive the point home for the Doctor all the more firmly. "Do you know who this is?" she asked in a slightly shaky voice.

"I can guess," the Doctor replied. "Jimmy Stone, isn't it?"

Rose nodded. "Yes. Just about the worst thing that ever happened to me." Her voice became a bit more confident as she remembered that while she'd made a mistake, it was_ Jimmy_ who'd used _her_, Jimmy who'd been older and Jimmy who should have known better. "I try not to think about him. That got a lot easier to do after I met you."

The Doctor walked around the image, looking it up and down distastefully. "So why remember him now?"

"To make you understand that all of us have things we would rather forget. We can only learn from the bad experiences, and try to remember the good."

Jimmy Stone vanished. The Doctor smiled slightly at that. "Nothing good to remember about him, then?"

Rose smiled in return. "No, but I did learn something from being with him. And I can't forget him. But I can choose not to dwell on the bad things." She reached for his hand again. "You can make that same choice." She held his gaze for a long moment. "Tell me more about Katarina and the others. Then, maybe we could work on filling this cavern with some memories of our own?"

The Doctor's smile grew wider, and he squeezed her hands. The image of Katarina re-appeared. "I met her in Troy. She was just a country girl…."

_Friends depart, and memory takes them  
To her caverns, pure and deep._

--Thomas Haynes Bayly, "Teach Me To Forget"


End file.
